Lust #1

It was getting pretty obvious to where this was going. Closing the door behind him, he turns off the lights. Moving his hands along side on her body. He leans down to kiss her ears, where he knew she likes them best. His hot breath dampening her lobe and tickling the hairs on her back. A much needed groan left her lips, giving him the assurance and making him smile and then he knew he was free to go. For she seems to enjoy this as much as his hardening cock.
He starts to take of her clothes, one by with a kiss to every part of her body which gets revealed by it. Leaving her with nothing, but damp panties suppressing the mystery she holds with in. He moves her to the bed without her knowing, a sudden motion, making her ache for the uncertain. She could hardly hold her excitement in. With every touch he unraveled feelings she didn't know she had in her.
His rough tipped fingers ventures down into her pure white lacy panties, as his other hand held firm on her breasts. In rhythm, he squeezes her hard nipples as he rubs her swollen Kitty. In and out, and in and out. She couldn't help but sway her hips back and forth, simulating a tiny bit of ecstasy that is being created between in her sticky legs, meeting in rhythm with his hands. Suddenly, she feels him slip two moist fingers inside of her. They swirl around making stars dance in the back of her eyes.
He had already poisoned her mind to think straight, all she needed was more, more of this pleasure, more of the touches, Her entire body has been taken over with a rush of lust, the sweet kind she has never felt before.
His legs come over hers, and is touching hers, and their skin touching with a growing heat of fire, clutching and grabbing each other, She wouldn't let go of his lips. He holds his hard in his crotch, while he keeps pulling his hand in and out.
They could not hold any longer, he pulls down her wet panties from between her long legs and throw them away, while she helped him get out of the only clothing left on him. He takes his hands down to her legs parting them to either sides of his body, opening the sesame to walk right in. As he laid there touching every essence of her body. He shoves his hardened cock inside of her and she accepts it with a long moan. Much affirm, he pulls back, to push in again, harder. The welcoming sighs kept him satisfied of the pleasure he is giving, and it was no ransom for the pleasure he is receiving. Kissing, fondling and moving in a fast rhythm as if he was drilling for something deep inside both of them. This dance, of love, and lust had consumed them. As he felt her silky soft folds take him there, he got lost in the magic of the feeling. He could feel her breath heavily under him, while letting out quite moans once with every thud, once between the loud breaths. Giving in all they had to give, they found each other climax in the perfect movement of two bodies enjoying one another.
He felt back on his side to the bed as they finish. As they caught their breaths together, and she leaned in, to leave a tender kiss upon his dried lips. She felt his hand caress her back calmly comforting her, as she told herself, there's no one else in this eternity to give her the comfort she needed. She hugs him tight from the side, as they both drive off to a deep sleep.

Us

Before you, there were edited texts, watered down statements, torn off pages and hidden books. Before you, there was a lot of anxiety in crafting the right sentences so I wouldn't be chastised for being too intense. Before you, there were dumb jokes left unappreciated and eye rolls aplenty. Before you I kept a part of myself quite down to make sure I didn't scare people away. Before you, there was a constant compromise at the core of who I am when I love.

But now, now there are unedited rambling ramblings and grandiose word choices. Now there are sentences which end with emoticons at times, and with a thousand exclamatory marks the others. There are constant 'I miss you's and a thousand essays of how much I love you. Now there are fixed Good nights and expected messages received. Now there are continuous unfiltered stress rants and all sorts of weird questions. Now there are promises of a billion hugs and infinite kisses for the next time we ever meet. Now there's you laughing at things I say, which aren't even supposed to be funny. Now there are impulsive little gestures of love, for no reason at all. Now there are awkwardly sexual comments passed casually at hand. Now there are conversations interrupted which starts with a gasped AND to tell you something stupid I forgot to tell you earlier. Now there are sleepy Skype sessions and sneaky cold hands under T shirts.
And now, half that isn't even Me, Its you,  my Match.

Now, we have a huge adventure in front of us, and I'm not in a rush, because it's you and me. Going towards the horizon, hand in hand. Not stumbling towards it solo, hoping there is someone else to meet me there, hoping to not end up alone. You found me. You're that for me, the one holding my hand when the sun goes down in the background, with birds flying over. You're that for me.

Well, I fell in love.

I fell in love. In every way,

I fell in love with my face nuzzling your chest, knowing you'll wrap your arms around me. Protecting me, holding me, needing me. I fell in love while walking towards you, in the way how you smile at me from the door, how you smile all the time. I fell in love with your hand resting on my leg. Every time you hold my hand, grab my thigh, kiss my neck, look into my eyes, call my name, I fall in love.
I fell in love in the midst of a conversation,  noticing that you're really, curiously listening to me blabber about how my day went. I fell in love in with your voice calming me down, how caring and understanding you are whenever I fall sick. How responsible and adoring you are. I fell in love with you looking at me like I put the stars in the sky, even when I looked like a mess.
I fell in love with your your unkempt beard rubbing against my chin, long bony hands intertwined with mine, your brown eyes rested at still, your legs and your lips. Every little thing that makes up you, as you are.
I fell in love realizing how you love me, how you care for me, how you hold me, how you manage me.

Well, I fell in love. I had to.

Home sick

It is feeling homesick
In your own bed,
In the house you've lived in,
Your entire life.
Because home haven't been this town, since the first time your smile took my breath away.
Home became the back seat of your motor bike.
And the way you said 'I love you' and 'You're Beautiful' without ever opening your mouth.
Home was your mouth, home was your laughter, Your hands.
Home was how you talked about our future.
Home was the bright sun rise that I wake upto every morning with you waiting for me outside my door. The times I naively laid next to you.
Home is a place you took with you, when you left.
I wonder, If now that you're faraway, in a different city.
If you too feel, homesick. For more than this small town.

...

There's the pianos playing slowly. A calming rhythm brings out the memories and relaxes my unsettled mind. I close my eyes, to let the music sink in.
And then he started singing, with a voice more soothing. Over that, hes speaking my mind.
'Its been a long day, without you my friend,
and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"

Fuck I cant write this shit.
I miss you. . And this song is so fucked up. I don't wanna listen to it, not at all.

*starts playing the song from beginning*

How I knew You loved me

It’s in the way you looked at me, 
like I was the brightest star 
on the darkest night, 
leading you back home 
when nowhere else felt right. 
I’ve been told it’s unhealthy 
to become dependent on somebody, 
but some days it felt as if your eyes 
were the only thing keeping me alive.
Nobody’s ever looked at me like that before. 
Nobody has since. 

I felt it like you can feel the warmth of the sun. 
When you held me in your arms
as everything fell apart, 
I felt love seeping through the layers 
of skin and bone between us. 
And although I couldn’t see it, 
I’m sure that it was there,Love. 
As simple as that.

I Love You

I love you. And I make sure you know that. Not a day goes by that I don't tell you, repeatedly. But the fierceness of the love cannot be uttered in three little words, or a billion for that matter. Every time I try on my end to describe what I feel for you, every word seems insufficient and hollow, the whole English Language is trite.

Maybe if I write raw and uneven. If I pour myself out, and breathe fire of passion into these words and make them live, they might come into your heart and dance. Maybe when you read this it will take you there. Where the grass is green, the light is bright, Where pain and bliss both run together.

I want you to know this feel this.

When I say that I Love you. What I really mean is that I want you. From the very first time you stared at me with the two of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. The very first time you ran your fingers through my hair. I have longed for that feeling for the whole of my life, and the moment I felt it, it was the only love I wanted to embrace.

You turn me on. It's undeniable. It's chemical. It's electric.

When I say that I Love You. What I really mean is that You are charming. Your rolled up sleeves and trimmed beard. Your tucked up looks, so handsome and fine, ever finer in your shorts straight out of bed. When you're not even trying, when you laugh out silly and yell like a girl, It takes my breath away. Like a sunset reflected in still water, or a starry night so clear you can see the milky way poured out across the sky.

When I say that I Love You. What I really mean is that I love your body, your shoulders. The arc and elegance.From the scars to the marks. From the tips of your hair to your ankles and toes.
Like no one else, you awaken me, the feelings I hide. You bring out the things I don't show. The passion, hunger and lust.

I love how you move, your effortless graces, the way you can simply nod your head and have me at the simplest Hello. I love how you walk, your rhythm, how both your hands move simultaneously on your sides.

I love how we love. How we breath and thrust and grind as one. One pulse, one pleasure, one ecstatic culmination. A gesture of love, a thrilling dive.

When I say that I Love You. What I really mean is that I love all of you, the way you are. Your silliness, playfulness, how easily we crack jokes and laugh at the mutual level of sarcasm. I love your courage, your strength. I love your softness, shyness. I love your honesty. I love how you take responsibilities starting from the simplest things.

I love who you are, deep down. the gentleness in your eyes, the selflessness, the pure love you give from your unconsciousness, your compassionate soul.

When I say I Love You, I mean I trust you, I respect you. I admire you, I adore you.

When I say I Love You, I mean that I love this crazy ride of loving each other. I love how it constantly calls me to go further, to walk my talk. to face my fears. I love sharing life with you, The laughter the stares, the adventures.

When I say I Love You I mean my life is better since I met you, with you in it. I'm grateful for every minute we've spent together and I mean that I cant wait to see you again, I cant wait to wrap my hands around you and feel you, cant wait to feel the warmth of your love.

When I say I Love you I mean that I want to be the one who you to turn when you're not doing okay, I want to be the one who you are sure to call up. I want to be the one who listens. I want to be the one who gives you something to stand on in this crazy messy world.

I want to make a home, a family with you. I want you to be my partner, my lover, my only. The Yin to my Yang, I want to wake up next to you in the morning and I want you to be the one next to me when I close my eyes at night.

In this universe of infinite possibilities, on a planet of 7 billion human beings, I want you.

The next time we see each other, I grab you as you lean closer. put my arms around your elegant shoulders and look deep into your eyes and say 'I Love You' this is what I really mean.

I have a place in my heart for you.

How I wish this guilt killed me in one strike.

Thank you

And you, even far, are always present in my everyday life.
I see you in every corner, hear you in every song, touch you in every sun ray that lighted up the day.
Since you came by to my life, its been happiness, the only choice.
Since you came by to my life, never passed a day without a smile on my face for at least half of it.
You would turn me upside down, just so things around me made more sense, you would clean the mess I made just so I wouldn't make it again.
You found me, and somehow you are saving me.
Even without you knowing, you are fixing me.
Perhaps, even without me knowing, You are bringing the light. You are killing the darkness. You are mending the scars. You are fixing the smile, You are giving me your hand. When I need it the most.
And for this, for everything you have done, and for all the things you wont know you did, Thank you.

Thank you for loving me, Thank you for holding me up. Thank you for knowing my flaws and going on with it. Thank you for never turning me down.

Thank you.

FUCK CUSTOMER SERVICES

Customer service is such a crock of shit.

 No, the customer is NOT always right. Sometimes the customer is just an asshole, but will receive no repercussions for acting like so due to the fundamentally idiotic concept that is “customer service.”

I can hardly stand the fact that without us employees there would be no one to keep their businesses running, No one to answer the stupid questions of the fucktards, And no one to be around and listen to them going on and on about how the usage got EATEN up, when they themselves admit to have received video clips from a Viber group. Fucking morons have no idea how stuff work, and go on judging the other person for having a child's voice, cos for some fucked up reason a the persons voice is the only factor which determines the amount of knowledge they have. Ungrateful snot rats have no idea how much effort was pulled into calling them 4 fucking time in an hour only to hear them say "Sorry Im still at the movie, please call back later". Yeah sure, I will call you back later, cos im a processed machine who does not have anything better than calling you back later.

Well, Fuck you ! I shouldn’t have to sugar coat anything to attempt to make you feel warm and fuzzy when you’re acting like a cold, heartless prick.

I shouldn’t have to smile at you and kindly help you while you insult me, my work ethic, and the company I work in.

“Customer service” doesn’t please the customers; customers are inherently selfish and greedy. They are rarely pleased, even after getting what they want.

All “customer service” does is dehumanize employees and make them cynics.

“Customer service” is the sum total of everything wrong in the work place.

And I could give the world to runaway from this hell of a job if it werent for the blue moons of good customers who for once appreciate the work done by a staff.
But on another note, FUCK CUSTOMER SERVICES.

Im sorry

I dont know how

Soon.

One day soon, I will be close to you. One day, I'll be able to hold your hand walking down the street, I'll be able to run my thumb over your knuckles and look at your sly smile. I'll be able to comfort you when you're upset hug you tight and try my best to say the stupidest things to make you smile. I will be able to hold you in my arms, feel your warmth. One day soon, I will be will be able to tell you how much I adore you and how much you mean to me in person. One day soon, I will able to look into your eyes and see the emotions behind them when I tell you how much I love you. One day sppn, I will be able to kiss you, your lips against mine making me weak. I'll kiss you and it will feel the way I feel about you. I'll have to catch my breath and ask myself if this is real. One day soon, we will do on a proper date to a fancy restaurant, and I wont care. I will spoil you every chance I get. One day soon, we will have a lazy date. We'll lay in bed all day, not moving unless we have to. We'll watch movies halfway through which you'd start snoring.Tell stories which you have heard a thousand times. We will cuddle and laugh. One day soon, we wont have to say goodnight like we do now.
One day soon, I will be close to you again.

Your absence.

I want to unravel all the little bits and pieces you left tangled in my brain when you left.
It haven't been all that long since you left, but time seems to have stalled.
I find everything to remind me of you, and I am starting to think that it wont go away. I can still feel the scent of your skin, I could still taste the kisses of your lips when you pressed them against mine intensely.
And Im here finding comfort in the brief days we held each other close.
For you are physically so far that my world crumbles in your absence.

I want to be that person who gave you something to look forward to despite the distance.

LDR FEELS #1

When you start writing about being in a long distance relationship and your partner becomes obsessed with becoming your biggest fan.

Kiss me when you get here.

I want to kiss you, a passionate kiss with you in the rain. A good morning kiss where you roll over from the other side of the bed before sun rise. One underwater, or on the highest peak of the mountains. I want a kiss on the stroke of midnight on new years where you look down at me when the fireworks start to explode in the sky. I want to run to you and you would catch me in your arms and slowly lean down to kiss me, twirling me around. I want the kind of kiss where you sneak into my bedroom and wake me up with one, a kiss on a rooftop with the stars blazing from behind. I want kisses where we are sitting down on a calm beach with nothing but the sound of waves, I want kisses on the cheek with you snuggling me from behind. I want Spiderman kisses where you are upside down, and secret kisses in a crowd without anyone noticing. I want kisses that last forever, and the ones where we creep onto the sofa. One shared on a Camera, or sliding down a slide into your arms knocking you down. I want the kind of kisses followed with 'Goodnight Babe'. But the most special one in a long time when you see me the next time going 'Ugh I've missed your lips so bad'.
And You shall make up for all the kisses above before heading back.

Distance.

One of the most important parts about a long distance relationship is to take things one day at a time, not to stress on how long you're going to be apart, for it will only make things harder. It is important to remember if you really love each other and if its meant to be, all the other things are going to align and work out on their own. You should never stress yourself out. Some night are going to be harder than the others, you're going to want to scream, cry, tear your hair out and make a gigantic paper plan to fly over there when you see them on that screen, and they are just there but you cant touch them. So close, yet so far away. Just remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder, It sucks and you dearly wish it didn't. I'm not gonna lie but sometimes it can be heart wrenching, and dragging. But when you're with the right person, the person who makes you want to be a better person, the person who makes you smile with just one word, the person who makes you feel loved, the person who would moves mountains to please you, You'll understand why being so far away from each other is worth it. You are going to be called naive, they will be others who make a mockery of your love and say how many bad experiences they've had and call it a waste, But you cant let you psych you out or get in the way of being with the one person you love the most. I promise you it will be worth it, Cause I know when I see my charming boyfriend's face again, every single night spent away from him will be so worth it. It will be worth feeling his touch, seeing his smile, and being wrapped up in his warmness once again. It will be all worth it, if it is with the one person you don't want to live without.
Nothing incredible will ever come easy, trust me, and never give up.
Cos its all worth in the end.

Starting on LDR

Within this one week since moving into a long distance relationship I've learnt that you can only be qualified for his kinda love, If you can manage time differences, Sucky internet connections and a human size teddy bear.

I fell in love with Zeus. I've read enough myths to know this won't end well.

His eyes were storm clouds he barreled through me, over me like a hurricane. His fingers were lighting lashing out all over me. A clap, his thunder shaking me separating my skin from my bones. Split lips and clenched fists. Eyes welded shut, a metallic taste left in my mouth. I am in love with a natural disaster.

Your past I shall be. And You, mine.

Three years later. a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed. She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to. She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three. Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap.
Inevitably, she asks and you tell her.

You say: I dated her a while back.
You don't say: Sometimes, when I'm holding you. I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.
You say: She was younger than me.
You don't say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin has weathered.
You say: We didn't work out.
You don't say: It was all the things I could ever work on and never get bored of.
You say: It's over now.
You don't say: But it was everything then.

For somethings are better left unsaid.

Caramel Coated xxxtacy

Love is like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender.The next day, you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minute, and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who cant get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love.

Be

Be the words
I need to hear
And be the sun
That shines all year
Be the light
So I am free from fear
And be the water
That is crystal clear
Be the wind
That holds me near
And be the home
That keeps me here

Wish I knew.

I wish I knew
how to be kinder,
to be softer with my touch
instead of staining every art piece
I come in contact with.

I wish I knew
how to laugh
on the tallest amusement ride
instead of screaming at every twist.

I wish I knew
how to be the roses
people stop by to smell
instead of thorns that prick their fingers.


I wish I knew
how to feel pretty,
to be beautiful,
without wishing I was more
than everything God has made me be.

Someone.

It becomes an addiction -  a drug, the nicotine in cigarettes, and the last sip in that bottle you're afraid to chug down, because you're scared of feeling empty. So you hold onto the sadness rather than feel nothing at all.
You hold onto this missing feeling hoping that you hold on long enough, maybe it wont ever go away. you hold on late at night to comfort as if it's the cold side of your pillow. That will never become hot.
The thing about missing someone is that you search for them in everyone, yet, a part of you is relieved that no one else resembles them. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think there's only going to be one person for you. And you find comfort knowing that there is someone made for you out there, even if you don't end the story together.

I cry to burn the charm of your face from my eyes- just to scream into my pillow at 3 am. Right around the time i get devastated and text you more often than I should. "Are you horny :) *Are you home"
I really don't mean anything.

The only thing I ate today is sadness, I need your nutrients, your between the legs nirvana, and your namaste nasty. And I know you're awake, so answer my text, "Are you hormney ?"

How can I sleep comfortably in abed that's as empty as me? I let you inside. You lit fires instead of setting the butterflies free.

Fuck, i done, too desperate. My head is beating in my chest and I don't remember what that feels like, because I lost my only in your butterfly stomach. "I'm sorry"-send.

I wish I was kissing you, instead of missing you.
I'm tired of feeling sorry Tired of Crying to sleep, I know she isn't better than me, She eats rougher than the hugs I give you. I'm tired of banging on 113. Wait you live in 112.
I'm sick of feeling used' he laughs at my jokes and lays me down like hes afraid to break me-but hes not you. But I cant keep letting you walk into watch you leave. And the only reason Im on your doorstep is because I'm too drunk to admit that I miss you.

I love you, I fucking Love you. Or maybe I'm just too drunk, and want just another reason to cry your name to sleep. You wrote Mine on my neck with your fingertips, just the thought arouses me.

But well I'm done, Other girls would risk getting sick for you, But I've been sick for you, even when I'm sick of you.

I'm done, You're just my past, I've moved on and I found myself another companion, and He holds me tighter with love, more love than you ever gave me.
I gave up on you long back. you're just another memory, Another phone call which i can easily ignore, Another face I look away from.

But the feelings that I used to had for you are no longer there, and for the first time, I really dont care. Because I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.

Just Dont Tell anyone.

I can be the Secret You wish you did't have to keep.
I can Let you love me quietly, I can let you hold my hands when no one's watching.

I,
can let you kiss me quickly, could let you tremble, could let you fall for me.
Only if you'd do it quietly.

You shall wait for the day when things align, in a straight line. And then I could let you talk to me like a promise, instead of a confession. You shall wait for the day, Only if you can do it with out anyone else knowing.

The day I let you love me out loud. You shall wait for the day you find your voice.
Until then Keep quiet.

To my Bestfriend

I know she has some kind
of mental illness,
I know she is weird,
and that she has an evil smile.
I also know that probably,
I will never ever discover what is
hidden under that messy mass of
brown curly hair.
But i also know that I just love her,
 I love her for who she is
and for who she is for me.

I'm thankful to have you Mariyam Manhal Ajeeb.

The Creepy Poem By him

It is with concealed emotions that I write to thee,
Lest thou find reasons to judge me.
But dear love almost from me gone,
thou has me still by thy love sworn,
I watch thee sleep in all thy manner of charms,
just that thou art absent from mine arms.
And it is which such love found and lost,
that these affections in words I host.

Dear Love, let us together deceive death,
And if we shan't let us sign our last breath,
together, so if  not in life we shall meet,
in death, when death us both greet.
Remember thy vow? That thou shan't let go
On what we as love have come to know.
Let us live a love that would go unheard,
for no poet can do us justice with word.

It is in the solace of thy thoughts that I write,
to thee, for thou remain only right,
Yet my only wrong.
Thou art, in love my swan song,
It is with love that I write to thee,
for it is with love that I wish to remember thee,
Thou art the only love that ever felt right.
And such love, I pray, grace me if might.

The crooked end

She was the devil searching peace, and he was angel craving chaos. it was all vary and fine for one second, but the solely pain her eyes engulf is over all the powers of his anger to overtake. he rules her with his anger and she wept with the fear of losing all that she ever wanted. she let him have all the bits of all the offerings from her poor savings, he expected more with the unsatisfied words. it was more than she could take, it was more pain and more than she could endure. She gave up as he said.

Fit in here, in my palm, in my shadow. don't be bigger than my idea of you, don't be more beautiful than I can accept don't be more human than i am willing you to be, and be quite you're too loud. Quite your dreams, your voice, your hair. Quite your skin, your color. Quite your walk, your eyes, who said you can look at me like that? Who said you can exist without permission?

She gave up, as her last breathed passed, never to love an indecent man again.

Since the day I lost you

She couldn't keep her head up, She spent hours in her room. Screaming at nothing, screaming that you'd come back. For you have gone, too far away and never to return showed your final gestures.
I remember that day like it was yesterday, you left. Slept out of the universe for eternity. i was standing there, around the crowd. everyone were mourning and my heart was dying. the colors were fading and so were my joys.

The news headlines were how i knew that you bid farewell. it was loud and clear when they announced the 19 year old passed away, my 14 year old self died with him. all i could say was 'NO NO' nothing else came out of my timid scared self. i hoped that it was all fake, like a dream, just another dream and id wake up any second and laugh for acting like a sadistic imbecile. only if i could rewind and bring you back. only if there was anything i could do to bring you back. only if it was all a lie and you were just faking to die. and you'd come back to life with that mesmerizing smile and be all 'GOTCHA' for how dramatic my actions were.

I want to say good bye, but i Cant. because i know that you left too early.
I hope i can be thankful one day when life makes sense again.
I hope i can get over the fear of losing someone like you.

Most of all i hope you'd come back to life.

I miss you.